- - Bloggy Blog Blog - -

In Honor of my Dad on Father's Day

2011-06-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

Father's Day is upon us. It has been so sweet to see every one's pictures on Face Book of their Dads. (Katie Reynolds and her dad Jim, those pictures are priceless!) I wanted to find some old ones of me and my dad, but unfortunately couldn't. I know they are packed away somewhere, just could get to them. These are some more recent pictures, I thought I would share.

I love this picture. He loved playing golf, especially with his Love.

Holding little Iva Mae

Grandpa and Liam

holding Ben for the first time.

Today has felt like a fresh cut. Bleeding all over again. It seams this is the way grief works, a cut and a little healing, another cut and some more healing. I am grateful for the healing, but the cuts still hurt so bad. I still am a bit in disbelief that my Dad is gone. Since my Dad got sick, almost 2 years ago now, I have had such a difficult time with my memory. Its as if that cancer sucked my memories away with his health.

There are nights that I lay in bed trying so hard to see a clear picture of my dad in my head. I can see him post sick, but pre... is very hard to see. I look at pictures and feel a small sense of shock at how much I love that face of his, and how hard it is to remember it, though i know it so well. I am so afraid that his sick state has taken over his healthy in my mind. I can vaguely remember things that my family talks about, 'oh, yeah...I remember that!' but on my own, everything is so fuzzy.

I have had many dreams of him, but he is almost always sick. I wake so sad to have seen him that way again. I have been asking God to please give me a good dream of him. I am so grateful that God answered that prayer a couple months ago.

I was in a room with lots of people standing around talking, I looked up across the room and saw Dad standing there, filled with so much joy I began to walk over to him, but Joe Smith popped in and was trying to say hi to him as well, my dad just smiled at Joe, with that bright blue eyed smile and, "Hold on, I gotta hug my girl." He wrapped his arms around me, and that was it.

It makes me cry every time I think of it. What a sweet moment to have, even if in my dreams. Any way, I know this is getting long, but I thought this may be a good time to post the eulogy that I gave at his funeral. I had a number of people tell me that they would love to read a copy of it, so here it is. (no pressure to read, its long! :)

I remember when I was first able to really read for myself, I saw a sign at a local cafe that said “the early bird catches the worm” when I asked my dad what it meant and he told me “that’s what we’ll be doing next week. We will be the early birds.” So sure enough, the next week, we woke up very early. It was opening day of hunting season. Filled with excitement, we stopped at gartlets corner in the pitch black and freezing cold and walked in to enjoy a hot breakfast. I remember my dad letting me dip my donut in his coffee.

Dad, matt, and I traveled on to his friend’s property, making the long trek in the cold, snowy morning. It was so peaceful and beautiful watching the sunrise against the woods and the snowy. I can still feel the anticipation I had, eager to see what was coming next.

But very quickly the anticipation wore off because of the bitter cold, and the fact that I couldn't stay still for very long.

Even though he had prepared me for it, and I promised him that I could do it, after a couple of hours I starting crying because it was just too cold. He didn’t get mad though, he just gently told me it was OK and walked me all the way back to his friends house, whose land we were hunting on.

This became a yearly tradition. Me promising my dad I could do it this time, and then crying only a couple hours in. But this is a perfect picture of how my dad was with us. He really wanted to include us in the things that he loved, and was willing to sacrifice something precious to him, like the chance to hunt or fish alone, which he loved, in order to have us be a part of it. Because of that, I have many wonderful memories of being in the woods or on the lake with him.

Another memory of my dad is the time I was really young, I think around 4, and I had split my chin open and had gotten stitches. A few days later, in the middle of the night, they split open and started bleeding really badly. My parents had to call our family doctor to meet him at his practice. It was a cold night, I remember being in my thermal pajamas, my dad scooped me up out of the car, just like a little baby, and carried me in to the doctor’s office. I remember feeling so anxious and afraid of what was going to happen, but also feeling so safe and secure in my dad’s arms. He was a strong man and I always felt safe and protected.

There are many other memories that I could share, but instead I wanted to tell you about his last days, and one of the last conversations I had with him.

As many of you know, my dad loved nature. About a month ago, I was reading and came across a passage in “The Weight of Glory” by C S Lewis that I wanted to share with him, and I was able to the next day.

And although my dad’s interaction with me was limited at that point, we were able to have a simple conversation that filled my heart with hope.

In it, Lewis says that our love of nature, and awe of its beauty is God given, and talks about how this world is a representation of a more beautiful, more real place, a place where we don’t have to stop at just seeing beauty, but will actually become a part of it.

He says:

“We do not want to merely see beauty, we want something else which can hardly be put into words: to be united with the beauty we see. To pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it... At the present, we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of the morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendors we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so. Someday, God willing, we shall get in.”

Lewis looks to that day when we are made perfect, and are perfect in our obedience, just as nature is. Then we will “put on its glory, or rather, that greater glory of which nature is only the first sketch.”

He goes on to say: “When all the suns and nebulae have passed away, each one of you will still be alive. Nature is only the image, the symbol, but it is the symbol scripture invites us to use. We are summoned to pass in through nature beyond her, into that splendor which she fully reflects. And in there, in beyond nature, we shall eat of the tree of life”

After reading this to my dad, he spoke of his excitement to experience this. We talked about the beauty that he saw in Alaska and how, as beautiful as it is, it is still only the “first sketch” that the landscape of heaven that he would pass into when be even more vibrant and real.

It gave my heart much peace to know that he was excited to go there.

First Peter says "According to His great Mercy, He has caused us to be born again into a living hope, through the resurrection of Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you. "

I am grateful to the Lord for his great mercy. Sickness and disease are wrong. Cancer is wrong. We have a desire to see things these things fixed. I have learned that it isn't up to me. I don't need to put my hope in something, like the cancer being healed. Christ is my hope. I have it, my dad had it. Christ came to fix this broken world and I believe in that. I know that Heaven will be our home, an unbroken and safe place. A place where my dad is now, fixed and cancer free, rejoicing with his savior. I am continuously comforted by this. 1 Peter goes on to say, "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your soul."

My dad has received his inheritance.

He is on the right side of the door.

Obtaining the outcome of his faith.

Adopted for Life

2011-04-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

Two things that have been on my mind a lot lately: Adoption and Heaven.

I began reading this book, Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore, and wanted to share this section that resonated with me. This is only a small excerpt, if you get the chance, I HIGHLY recommend reading it. It is packed rich. Not even if you get the chance, make the chance!

It’s a bit lengthy, but please read… for reference, Russell Moore and his wife adopted 2 little boys, only 3 months apart from a rural Russian Orphanage.

The Abba cry just might be the most easily misunderstood and misinterpreted aspects of the biblical revelation of our adoption (our adoption by God, through Christ). How many of us have heard Abba described as an infant cooing out the words, “Da-Da” or “Pa-Pa”? This cry though in context of the Scriptures, is not an infantile cooing. The Abba cry is a scream. It’s at he sound of a child screaming, ”Daddy!” as his face is being ripped by a rabid bulldog. It’s a primal scream.

The bible tells us, “In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death…(heb5:7) Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane isn’t placidly staring…He is screaming to his father for deliverance, to the point that the veins in his temples burst into drops of blood (Luke 22:39-44). That’s the Abba cry. It’s the scream of the crucified.

Of all the disturbing aspects of the orphanage in which we found our boys, one stands out above all others in its horror. It was quiet. The place was filled with an eerie silence, quieter than the Library of Congress, despite the fact that there were cribs full of babies in every room. If you listened intently enough, you could hear the sound of gently rocking-as babies rocked themselves back and forth in their beds. They didn’t cry because no one responded to their cries. So they stopped. That’s a dehumanizing horror.

The first moment that I knew the boys had received us, is some strange and preliminary way, was the moment we walked out of the room for the last time on that first trip. When little Maxim, now Benjamin, fell back in his crib and cried-the first time I ever heard him do it-it was because, for whatever reason, he seamed to think he’d been heard and, for whatever reason, he no longer liked the prospect of being alone in the dark.

That is where the Spirit is leading us in Christ. The Spirit doesn’t lead us to be toothy, giddy caricature of a “spirit-filled” Christian. The Spirit leads us to see we are in enemy-occupied territory, and he teaches us to rage against the machine…to cry out with the rest of the universe, “O, God deliver us from this, this is not how it’s supposed to be!”

It is through this kind of praying that we know we have “received the spirit of adoption and sons” (rom. 8:15). Through this, “the Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs” (Rom.8:16-17)…

The Abba cry is a groan…”the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now” (rom. 8:22). It is hard for us to hear the tenor and terror in that verse, living with the kinds of medical technology we have all around us…

The whole universe, Paul says, is screaming out like that- “longing for the revealing of the sons of God” (Rom8.19) Yes, the creation ‘waits’ patiently, but it’s a patience that screams along the way.

But its not just the creation screaming, Paul writes that “we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies” (rom8:23). ..

The Bible speaks, paradoxically, of our adoption in Christ as a past event but also as a future one. “we wait eagerly for adoption as sons,” Paul writes, and he tells us what that looks like: “the redemption of our bodies”. We legally belong to our father. But as long as our bodies are dying, as long as the universe is heaving in pain around us, it sure looks like we are orphans still. We know that we’re children by faith, not by sight.

I want to see that orphanage one more time. When the boys are older, maybe twelve or fourteen, I plan to make the trip again, with them. I want them to see, to feel where they came form…I’m sure their eyes will widen as we walk up those creaking steps into that horror movie-looking front door. They’ll probably go limp inside, just like I did, when they see all those abandoned toddlers peering out from the corners of the doors inside…I am not sure what they will think of the orphanage. But I’m quite sure they won’t call it home.

Christmas Morning

2011-02-12T11:27:00.000-08:00

The Set up Christmas morning! This is what the Boys woke up to! They are still a bit young to understand what was going on, but they warmed up to it quick!

Benner was afraid of the Rocking Horses! So he hung out inside the tent where it was safe!

Uncle Mike, trying to convince Ben that the Horses really are fun.

Liam didn't need any convincing, he loved it!

Uncle Paul and Mae, opening clothes from Mamo and Granddaddy.

Christmas Eve

2011-02-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember, my family has done our big Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve. We keep the tradition every year. It was a bitter sweet event. Our first Christmas with out my Dad. It made my heart ache for him. We didn't get to see him be 'Santa' and pass out the presents, or hear the Christmas story by his voice. No tacky jokes, like, 'A BOX! Its just what I wanted!' despite missing him, we had a good Christmas. I am so grateful for my family, for the tie that we have and that we are all here to be together.

We got my mom a pearl ring with diamonds, pearl is Ryan's birth stone as well as the month that my parents got married, diamond is my Dads birth stone.

The boys got guitars, other wise known as 'ta-tar!!' Ben was so excited that he went to bed with it and i don't think let go of it for about a week! Its still his favorite toy, He's pretty cute jamming out with it. He's learning to play and sing and dance at the same time!

too busy on the phone to pay attention to his new clothes!

My mom got Sean a Mac book Pro!!! He was shocked!!! Those of you who know Sean, know that this is the perfect gift!

All the cousins! Ben, Trevor, Cai, Liam, Anderson, Mae, and Ryan!

Ben and Iva Mae checking out the presents!

Sweetie pie, grandma got her a tu-tu!

Mr. Independent

2010-11-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

This boy! If Ben thinks of something that he would like. He helps himself! (Very unlike his brother, who I am sure would have stood at the table screaming until someone figured out that he wanted an apple!) We didn't even notice he was gone until I walked into the kitchen to find him munching away! I love his little independent spirit! Happy that he craves apples and bananas and not chocolate or paint thinner or something crazy!

Earlier today, Ben found a wide strip of cardbaord and sat down to figure something out about it. I watched him inspect it closely, then he folded it in half. Stared at it and then exclaimed, "OH!!" and 'opened' it up and placed it on his ear and said, "hello!" He continued to do this most of the morning! He made him self a flip phone!

I love my boys so much and I especially love how different they are! 2 very cute, very different little goobers, for the price of one! Grateful God gave us twins!

November 2nd

2010-11-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I couldn't sleep. Anxious about how this nasty cancer would take my dad, I got on the internet at 4 in the morning researching brain cancer. I read many many accounts of a difficult end, but there was one account of a man who entered into a coma and passed while "sleeping". So I began to pray. I prayed all year that this would be the way that the Lord would choose to take my Dad.

Somewhere between Thursday and Sunday, my Dad slipped into a coma. Sean and I got to my parents Sunday around 5:00. My dad was laboring to breathe but I didn't think much of it. We ate dinner and went back into the room to see him. He looked significantly worse and his heart rate was very high. We new it was the end. It was a long few hours wrestling with anxieties. I didn't know if I wanted to be in the room or if I could take seeing him and hearing the 'death rattle' in his chest. The Lord was faithful to bring me peace. Sean reminded me that this was exactly what we had prayed for. He was sleeping and in no pain, and it didn't look like a seizure would be his end. The Lord was showing MERCY! The family and a few close friends sat by his side for a few hours, praying and singing worship songs.

Around midnight, he took his last breath. 16 months of a difficult battle with cancer is over. It was just exactly the best way for it to happen. The Holy Spirit was felt and present. His wife, children, brother and his closest and dearest friends by his side, singing him into heaven.

There will be a visitation at Graham Funeral Home, Thursday night from 6-8. Funeral at Sovereign Grace Church, Friday at 1.

Thank you all for your prayers and help with the food and with watching our boys. we are overwhelmed with your outpouring.

Some glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away;
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away, I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away

When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown,
I'll fly away

Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away

Update October, 30th

2010-10-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

Here is just a quick update on my dad:

He has been in bed the last few days. He didn't open his eyes at all yesterday and hasn't eaten in a couple days now. Tuesday morning he opened his eyes while I was there for a bit. He looked confused and his eyes are cloudy. He couldn't communicate and could barely suck the juice up the straw. He is having a difficult time with mucus in his throat and begins to cough a lot when he drinks something, if he is able to swollow. He doesn't have the strength to cough much up, the nurse gave us some medicine to help it. It is a patch to put behind his ears so that he doesn't have to swollow it. He did mumble and move his lips in the motion of ,"I love you, Katie," before I left.

It is definitely on my brain that these may be the last words that I hear my dad "say". I think that I am at peace with that. They are the perfect words to hear. I am so grateful that other than when he is coughing, he doesn't seam to have much pain. He is sleeping almost constantly now, which is much better that being awake and uncomfortable.

He hasn't been able to take his meds, that that is concern for a seizure. Please pray that the Lord would be merciful in taking him. That his passing would be peaceful and while he is sleeping. This would be much better than a violent seizure. Also pray for peace with the family. Anxiety is running high in a lot of us.

Thank you for your prayers.

October Fourteenth

2010-10-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

A few people have asked for an update, here is a short one.

Sean and I were able to go to my parents house to sit with my dad today. I was over on Tuesday, and it was difficult. When I left and told him, goodbye, he mumbled some gibberish, but had been able to talk earlier that morning. This has been the way he was yesterday and today. It seams to have taken a big step downward. He can answer a simple yes or no question, but not a whole lot more. He has been sleeping most of the day and will wake up to look at you, or say something. His appetite is diminishing and he has a cough that is bothersome to him. He doesn't have the strength to cough anything up and when I asked him if it hurt, he answered yes.

My mom has a nurse coming every morning to help my with my dad, that has been a huge help to her. The nurse said that with the symptoms my dad has, it looks like it will be 2 weeks to a month. The house has been filled with friends and family stopping by to clean dishes or read a scripture. We are grateful for the love and care around us.
The Lord is faithful to give us our daily bread, meeting us each day with exactly what we need to make it through. Resting in that and taking it all in stride is where we are.

Last week, when he was able to talk a little more, I read to him a section from The Weight of Glory, by C.S. Lewis. It talked about heaven and how it will blow the nature around us away. He says that this is only the "first sketch" and that we will be apart of a nature more beautiful that we can imagine. I talked to my dad about it a little. He has always been one to appreciate natures glory and splendor. When i read and asked if he is excited to go and see these wonders in heaven, He told me that he is . When i asked him if he is afraid, he answered, "No. I really want to see it." We talked a little about Alaska and how much He loved being there . He told me that he would really like to take me there and maybe we could go together, and how much he enjoyed the landscape and beauty there. We talked about how heaven's landscape will be even more vibrant and full and real that what he saw there. My Dad is on the precipice of experiencing this. He is so close that there is almost a felt holiness around him. I am grateful to God for the peace that he has given.

Please continue in prayer, they are much appreciated.

My Beautiful Mae

2010-09-29T12:52:00.001-07:00

This little girl has stolen my heart! Iva Mae is 4 months. She has a sweet spirit, always ready to smile. I love to hear her sweet giggle and to see her watch her crazy big brothers dance around in front of her and see her little face light up. She loves the sound of her Daddy's voice and loves to look at her hippo, "Janie." (thanks auntie Ginger) I feel like I just can't get enough! I'm addicted to her! She has been my sweet escape lately. Her little nose, sweet lips and bright blue eyes will make any sad heart happy. I love you baby girl!

september, twenty-third HOPE

2010-09-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

I have once again been learning about hope. It has always been a difficult thing for me to wrap my brain around. Its not a tangible thing that I can take hold of, and that sometimes makes it difficult to feel like I have it.

Lately, though, the Lord has been stirring something in me. A want and desire to see things fixed. I am learning that it isn't up to me. I don't need to put my hope is something. Christ is my hope. I have it. I have Christ. Christ came to fix this broken world and I believe in that. I know that Heaven will be our home, an unbroken and safe place. I am continuously comforted by this. I don't know how it will all work out, and sometimes its vague in my mind. 1 Peter says, "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your soul."

I went to my parents house this afternoon to visit. I had been sick earlier this week, so hadn't seen my dad for a few days. He didn't say much, he told me that he missed me this week. The change in him in even that short time is very difficult to bear. He is mostly in his wheelchair, or sitting on the couch. He is so week that even hold a book up to read is difficult. His voice is week and very quiet and he can hardly stand on his own. I love to see is bright blue eyes look up at me and smile a little. I know that he is not my dad, my dad has been gone for sometime now. But I see him in those eyes and I know that look. The look of a father that loves his children, finds joy in seeing them. I am so afraid that he is sad. It breaks my heart to see my dad who was so strong and healthy just over a year ago, be degraded to this state. I honestly still can't wrap my brain around it. The only thing that I can do is to cling to the hope I have.

"According to His great Mercy, He has caused us to be born again into a living hope, through the resurrection of Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you. "

I over heard him telling someone that the Lord is telling him to be strong in his faith. I am encouraged that he looks forward to heaven, that he has hope. He will obtain the outcome of his faith. Hope isn't wishful thinking. Its a thing. A real thing.

September tenth, two thousand ten

2010-09-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

Last night before bed, I told Sean that I didn't think that I could make it through tomorrow (it's been a long week). He said, "one more day, we can do it, then its Saturday and we will be together." Hopeful, i fell asleep, only to wake up to a screaming little boy, standing in the poop that leaked out if his diaper. How a kid can produce that much poop is beyond me! Thrusted headfirst into this day that has so far has consisted of cleaning off the poop, eating chocolate, crying and looking at the clock a lot. But then the wise words of a dear friend popped into my head, "Don't wish your days away." So I am now trying to change the gears in my mind and heart, because, though it is hard today, the truth is I can't imagine my life without these goobers of mine. I love them with all of my heart and want to cherish my days with them. The Lord is my strength and He has given me 3 wonderful gifts. It wasn't my idea to have them all within 14 months of each other, but i wouldn't change it for the world now. I'm so aware of his grace on me and my family. Remembering that Trusting in the Lord doesn't mean that he will take away trial and pain, but it does mean that he will care for and love us through it. I find much comfort in knowing that the Lord grieves with us. His heart is sad with ours. I can't tell you why He doesn't just take it away, because we will just never know, and I have to be okay with that.

My heart is swollen with love and am feeling deeper love than I ever have. I am losing my dad to brain cancer and I miss him more and more each day, and I love him more and more each day, and am learning more and more about what family is. I think about the sacrifices that my dad made for me over the years and am inspired to sacrifice more for my children. I remember being 18 and having a terrible night mare. I woke up standing in front of my door screaming. my dad was on the other side of that door, ready to comfort and make me feel safe. He held me and even crawled in bed with me. He laid there until I was safe a soundly asleep. Though nightmares are terrible, what a sweet thing, to comfort your daughter. I am so glad to be that daughter and it makes me look forward to moments like that with my own children. and how kind of the Lord to take something bad and redeem it, making a nightmare give opportunity for my dad to be my night in shining armor!

I read a journal excerpt from a man that lost his wife of 30 years.

During this morning, I have been struck with the reality that my wife isn't coming back. She will never again sit up and make one of her wisecracks to put me in my place; never laugh with me or respond when asked how long we have been married by saying,"not long enough." ...I will never attend church with her, fly to some faraway city or sit around a dinner table with her and the boys...these things will never happen again. Today i am sad. Very, very sad.

Still it is consistent to say, may the peace of Christ bless you and keep you. And today, may you hold those in your house close to your body and feel them breath and take in their remarkable scent and give them your love.

Jim Chaffee, Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

The craziness of my 3 kids, my dad is fighting a war with brain tumors and we are broke. In spite of all that is going on, I want to take my eyes off of my self and love, I want to, "hold those in (my) house close to (my) body and feel them breath and take in their remarkable scent and give them (my) love.

"We love because he first loved us"

Vacation Pictures and an Update! (scrolll through the pics for the update at the end!)

2009-09-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

Matt, Dad and Uncle Joe out golfing

Liam and Cai

Anderson and Ben

Aunt Jeannie and Mom

Great Aunt Jeannie and Liam

Ry and Cai

Anderson and Trevor feeding the boys

Caius feeding Ben

Grandma and Liam at the pool

Matt and Dad on our dolphin watch at sunset aboard the Vagabond

Amanda, Kris, Mom and Dad

Matt with Anderson and Cai

T, Ry and Sean

We saw tons of dolphins!

Our little family

Kris and his boys

Dad and Mom

Sunrise and sea shell hunt

Ryan and Trevor on the living oak tree

My Benner!

Hanging out at the Salty Dog Cafe! All you can eat crab legs! yumm!

Trevor out golfing

Anderson

The Alligator!

Leemer after his bath

Benner after his bath

Ben and Liam in the bed at the Mariot in Charleston

Laughing at Daddy's funny faces

the sights of Charleston

We are all back from vacation! We had a wonderful time in Hilton Head! It was Sean and I, Ben and Liam, Kris, Amanda, Ryan, Trevor, Anderson and Cai, Matt, and Mom and Dad. We stayed in a condo a short bike ride from the beach. My Dad did so well, we had a lot of fun with him and he was even able to play golf 2ce! The lord really answered our prayers! He did better than he has since all of this happened. I am so grateful for that time with him! Please pray for my Dad as he started radiation today (9-14). He will go in everyday for 6 weeks to get the radiation and they will add chemo soon. Its going to be a rough road, he will most likely be pretty sick and loose all his hair, he's says who cares, he doesn't have much left anyway! My brother Kris starts his new job today. Amanda is up in Michigan with her boys for a couple weeks until the house here is ready for all of them. Looks like they will be able to move in the last weekend of September. We are so glad that they decided to move back! It will be so good to have the family all together again. Sean and I took a little one day vacation on our own. We drove through Charleston, SC on our way home from Hilton Head. It was great! The boys did great most of the vacation. They are really changing, Liam is really ticklish now and is giggling, Ben is laughing and really scooting around. It is such a fun stage!

Latest Project

2009-08-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

Here is the "after" of my latest project. Craig's list chairs for real cheap! I still have the table to finish and a top coat to put on the chairs.

pretty ugly.

Please Pray

2009-07-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

My Dad went into the hospital this week, we thought he had a stroke, turns out it was a seizure and he has 2 brain tumors. It has been a crazy week, very emotional. He will be having a biopsy on Monday at 1:00. Please pray for healing, that the tumors would not be fast growing and that they would be cancer free. This is a rough thing for us all to walk through right now.

I know that the Lord loves us and that He is in control. I'm just having a hard time feeling that.

I love my Dad very much. Here are some photos of us at my wedding.

Thank you for you prayers and love.

I heart Mamo!

2009-06-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

All ready to pick up Mamo from the air port!

Meeting Mamo for the 1st time!

Our little family- Liam's not too happy!

(at Lizzy's wedding)

Me and My Liam

"Leemee" smiling

"Benner" Smiling

The boys new pj's from Auntie Amanda

The boys are just starting to respond to us with smiles! We love it!

Carrol (Sean's mom, the boy's "mamo"), was here for a whole 10days! we loved having her and were so glad for the boys to get loved on by her. June flew by fast! The boys will be 3 months old on Tuesday, the 30th! Also, my hubby will be 30!!! I can't believe it.

Sorry, Love, but 30 just sounds so old!

We are moving out of my parents' place on wed, the 1st. We are renting our friends' condo. It is only about a mile from my parents place, still close to everything. We are pretty excited to have some room! Sean's little brother Paul will be living with us. We are excited to have him!

That's all for now. More to come...

Happy Birthday Ryan and Ryan

2009-06-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

Today is my nephew Ryan's 10th birthday! It would have been my brother Ryan's 33rd birthday. Here are some pics of them.

Ryan Kristopher

The Ryans 29 and 6

Little Ry and me on his 6th birthday

Me and Ry

Me and Ryan again

Ryan is 9 years older than me.

All us kids with mom

Matt, Me, Ryan and Kris with the awesome shades on!

Ryan was a cuttie pie

Ryan with Dad and Kris

Ryan, I miss you lots. I wish so badly that my boys could have known their uncle Ryan. I know that they would love you so much. I wish that i could see your face today and tell you happy birthday, maybe give you a spoon full of cool whip!

Little Ry, I miss you too! Atlanta is too far away! I wish i could give you a big hug today. You are getting so old. You are such a great older brother and a big help to your mom. You have a sweet heart and I love spending time with you. Thanks for sending me letters and talking on the phone. I can't wait for my boys to meet you. Ben and Liam are going to have so much fun with you and i know that they will look up to their cousin Ryan!

I love you both!

2009-06-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of short videos I took of the boys for their Mamo in Texas (Carrol).

Ben Liam

Pictures!

2009-05-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

I finally have some pictures to post and time to post them! Things are going really well. They boys will be 6 weeks on monday! Liam is up to 6lbs and Ben is just over 7lbs now!

Our little Family. This was after their first bath. They look so cute in their hooded towels! Thanks Heather!

Ben and Ben.
This is Ben Crumrine, he's one of our good friends and is our Ben's namesake.

Liam and Ben (5weeks) meet Virginia! (7months)

Liam with uncle Joel

Liam-5wks

Liam with Aunt Kathleen

Ben-5wks

Ben with Unky Paul

tummy time

I thought this was really sweet. Its funny how much they do the same things at the same time.

more tummy time

4weeks- linking arms, they do this a lot, I love it!

Our Boys

2009-04-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Ben and Liam

Snoozing with Daddy

Ben and Liam are home safe and sound. They came home on easter sunday. I only have a couple of pics for now. I will post more later. We can't believe how much we love these boys. I'm so glad they are here and so glad God gave us 2!

Liam Crying

2009-04-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Just a short one so you can hear Liam's little voice...

first time holding ben

2009-04-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

This is the first time we got to hold ben, from today!

We are so grateful to God for helping our guy get better, keep praying that they can both come home soon...

2009-04-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, just a quick update, these are some videos of Liam and Ben.

Liam was born 4 lbs 3 oz, 17.7 inches at 5:56 pm on 3-30-09

Ben was born at 5:55, he was 5 lbs 11 oz, and 18.3 inches long.

Their full names are William Kent and Lincoln Benjamin

Liam is doing really good and feeding already, and other than being pretty small and looking like a 90 year old man, he has no major issues.

Ben is having a little bit of trouble with his lungs, which is apparently very common and somewhat expected in this situation. The Doctors are trying to help his lungs develop, but they may end up sending him to the Children's Hospital. It seems that it is only a short term problem, however, so once he gets over the hump, there wont be any lasting complications.

Please pray that they can both come home soon, and that they would be super-healthy!

More to come soon.

The boys

2009-03-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

Here is an ultra sound photo of Ben's profile. It's the best pic we have gotten so far! Liam had his hand in front of his face, so no good ones of him.

Things are going well. Liam needs to fatten up a little! He is just about 4 1/2 lbs and Ben is almost 6 lbs! They were a little concerned about Liam but we had a more advanced ultrasound done down at EVMS, and looks like they are both fine!

I have been having some contractions and am really uncomfortable! Liam is head-up/breached, so looks like it will probably be a c-section. So, not ideal but thats ok. I am hoping and praying that they come by April 1. I'm very ready to meet these boys!

our new car

2009-03-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

We wanted to show you guys our new car. When we moved here, we were given two cars pretty much right away. A jeep wrangler (you can see it in the background) and a volvo wagon.

Our jeep has been running like a champ, and the volvo is strong too, except for some rust along the bottom, which has kept it from passing inspection.

Last week, we got a call from our church that they had received a car as a donation and wanted to pass it along to us. Sweet.

It has a huge trunk for the stroller (which wont fit in the jeep), and plenty of room for two little guys. (and an ipod hookup...nice)

We are super grateful for everyone's generosity, and thankful to God for taking care of us.

Life is good, and we just wanted to share the latest way that God has really taken care of us.

Man Hands and Bets

2009-03-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics of my belly. Sorry they aren't too good. The doctor didn't even bother measuring me last week, I'm beyond what a single pregnancy at 40 weeks measures. I feel much bigger than I look!

I see the doctor every week now, I am beginning to dilate (not much though). The doctor says he will be happy if we can deliver after 34, that's just over a week away. Please keep us in your prayers, that the decision to go natural or c-section will be very clear.

Sean and I have bets going. He says March 18th. I say March 26th. (I'm hoping for my nephew Anderson's birthday)

Anyone else have a guess?

We saw the Seinfeld episode with the man hands the other night, we laughed, take a look at that hand resting on the chair! They are pretty ugly! My feet are the same way and when i wake up in the morning i look like i have had lip injections!

31 weeks

2009-02-24T14:22:00.000-08:00

We had an ultra sound yesterday,

and both Ben and Liam are head down!!!

Thank you, God! So we are praying they stay put!

Ben is really far down, his making me quite

uncomfortable, lots of pressure down low.

Liam is usually the one that doesn't stay put,

so we'll see what happens.

They are both about 3 1/2 lbs, everything looked great.

At this point they should gain

1/2lb a week. After this week, we are safe to deliver.

Dr. thinks it will be between 34-37 weeks!

Peony

2009-02-12T20:15:00.000-08:00

"Peony" Acrylic on Canvas 5x7

Here is something I just finished, I thought I would post it as a break from the baby stuff.

It has been nice to have time to paint. I'm hoping to finish a few more before the boys come.

I made it for Andrea Wallis, since she has been such a big help through the pregnancy, and peonies are one of her favorite flowers.

Quilts and an update

2009-02-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple pics of the quilts I have been working on for our boys, Ben and Liam. This is just the one, I'm not finished with the other, they pretty much look the same though. It was my first sewing project, so it's a little rough, but I'm finished! Sean didn't think that i would finish a project like this. He knows me too well and knows that i get really frustrated and eventually reach the point where i quit out of anger. It's true, I did get very frustrated with it but i was determined. I'm kinda going for a flea market look with miss matched colors, so i guess the fact that its not perfect fits the theme, or at least I'll tell myself that!

Here we are, all three of us in one! I'm 29 weeks. We had a little scare this week, the short version is, we thought I was maybe going into labor, so the Doctor put me on a 3 day bed rest and said from here on out lay low. No more walks or activities. We are really thankful that the orders weren't bed rest till they come. We have 3 more weeks until I can deliver safely. We hope they don't come that soon, but that's when we are in the clear. I've been having a LOT of braxton hicks, The Doctor is a little concerned because they shouldn't be so frequent. They aren't painful just getting annoying and a little uncomfortable. My belly is already huge, its worse when its rock hard too! We took the suggestion of taking Magnesium phosphate, 8 a day, and it has really helped.
Thank You Andrea, Jenny, Arlyn, Julie, Sandy Hunt, Nancy Snader for your meals and treats! And Barb for checking in on me! I'm grateful to have so many people that want to take care of me! Love you all!

cai's belly!

2009-01-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

This picture is from a few weeks ago, my mom was down visitting the boys. Cai said he wanted to look like aunt katie!

Belly Bell Bell @ 26 weeks

2009-01-15T13:08:00.000-08:00

Its really weird. Pregnant bellies are just weird.
The weirdest part is that, that's my pregnant belly.

Story Time

2009-01-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about my childhood, and the things that were and are dear to me. One of the things that my mom did that I loved was read to us. When i was really little it was always in the rocking chair at the end of the upstairs hallway. She would rock and read and I loved it. As we got older we would all lay on her bed just before bedtime and she would read to both Matt and I. So, I have begun the tradition with my boys. I know that they can't understand the story and wont for years to come, but it makes me feel very connected to them. I would like to read some of the same books that my mom read to us.

I've started with Hinds' Feet on High Places. It is the story of a young shepherdess named Much-Afraid. She is lame and severely blemished and wants to be beautiful. It is the story of her journey to the High Places with the Shepherd, how she enters the Kingdom of love with the blossom of love in her heart that bloomed throughout her journey. Her lame and crippled feet become like hinds' feet, able to leap upon the High Places with ease.

I've been reading out loud to them most mornings. I like to think that they really enjoy it. Next book will be James and the Giant Peach, which was one of my favorites.

I was wondering if any of you had favorites growing up, any suggestions, or must reads?

A Quick Update

2009-01-06T10:34:00.000-08:00

Im in my 25th week now. The doctor moved my due date up to April 28th. The baby that was always a week behind had a growth spurt and is now only an ounce or two smaller! Yea, Im so proud of the little guy!

Here is what baby center thinks they look like@ 24wks. We have almost finalized our names, thinking more and more about baby showers, strollers and changing tables and such. Im getting a little anxious about getting everything that we will need, and its hard to know what we will need two of.

I'm looking for a cheep or free dresser that could be used as a changing table, so preferably solid wood, and wide enough to put one of those changing things on top of. So, if you see one or hear of one, let me know. Even if it is uggo, I can paint it.

We start our birthing class tonight, we are excited about that. Katy and Clay are in our class, too.

Other than that, everything is the same.

Pictures from Atlanta

2008-12-18T15:04:00.000-08:00

Here is 20 week belly shot! Carrol and Mamo asked for one, sory its not the best pic.

Anderson, Trevor, Ryan and Cai

Anderson at the breakfast table.

Cai, he was our morning entertainment!

Rayn

Trevor

We had such a great time in Atlanta for Thanksgiving. It was sad to leave. I love these boys so much. They are growing up so fast, I hate that i'm missing it.

I will update more later, we have an ultra sound on Christmas Eve, so hopfully we will get some good pics of that. Have a great christmas!

The belly shot

2008-11-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

Here it is, I'm now 4 months!

A look inside

2008-11-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

So here is a peek inside. Baby Center sends me a email once a week updating me on how the babies are developing. Its very fun to read! It just tells me about single babies, so, this times 2! Here is what it said this week:

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he is about the size of an avacado 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Im still feeling pretty yucky. The doctors say that I will deliver about a month early, so that means that we are half way there! I will give you a belly shot soon. I should start feeling them move in the next couple of weeks. I can't wait!

ummm... just kidding...

2008-11-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

Our phones are back on! So you can ignore the first part of my last post.

Not accepting calls...

2008-11-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

(update from Sean: Our phones actually work again so disregard this part, I will leave it up, though, for your reading pleasure.)

So, our cell phones got turned off. I would love to accept your call, I just can't. In the words of Beka's friend, "I ain't got no gas money!" or cell phone money. So, you can call the wratten's house, we have a phone up in our apartment. Don't bother leaving a message, i won't get it. 421 3739. Or Sean's has a different cell # that you can call 718 0564. I'm usually home or with Sean.

A Quick update: I am now 14 weeks and praying, "dear God make my nausea finally go away!" So far, no answer! Twin 1 is measuring 15 weeks and twin 2 is at 14. (Both about the size of a medium apple.) I Don't know why, I guess twin 1 will be a fatty! That's ok with me, I love chubby babies. We are deciding on names, however Sean would like to keep them quiet. I don't like calling them twin 1 and twin 2, but i don't know what else to call them. My belly has really popped out, I think i just look like I've got a good jelly roll going though, I don't think anyone can tell that i am pregnant, yet. The doctor said that with two in there i am as big as a 22 week single pregnancy!

I was in Michigan this past week. I had a good time, my aunt Mary started chemotherapy while we were up there, please keep her in your prayers. My grandma turned 80! I got to meet little Brennen, my cousin's new baby. It was really good to see every one.

Looks like...

2008-10-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

We are having two baby boys!

Ultrasound Pics

2008-10-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

So here they are, our precious little babies! Both are growing perfectly. They are each about the size of a lime, have fingers, toes, ears, and even have all their baby teeth stored in thier mouth bones. Their gender is visible but too hard to detect this early. The Ultrasound tech said she thinks that she will be able to tell at my next apt. which is in 2 weeks! Crazy!

Twin 1 was moving around kicking its little legs like crazy! It was really cool to see. It's gonna be an attention hog! She could barely get a pic of #2 because #1 kept getting in the way! #1 is a tiny bit bigger and is closest to the exit, so it will probably be the first one we meet! I can't wait to see both of them! Any guesses on weather or not they are boy-girl, boy-boy, girl-girl?

Story of the Fridge

2008-10-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

So,

As I mentioned, Katie and I felt that God really wanted us to express our need and have faith for him to provide for us.

I updated my facebook and posted on here, and kept searching craigslist, which I had been doing every day. The problem was all the fridges were either several hundred dollars, or like 100 but really old and sketchy looking.

I saw one fridge that was $100 and sounded pretty nice from the description, I felt strongly like I should call on it and told the lady I would like to buy it (I did not have $100). I told her quickly our little story, and she offered to hold it for us while I tried to get a hold of the money and a truck to get it (in newport news, like an hour from our house).

The next day I called her and told her I was still trying to borrow the money, and would she mind holding it one more day, she said no problem, but called me right back to tell me that they (her and her husband) had talked it over, and that if we could pay them $50, they would sell it for that. Of course, I was really excited and thanked her and went to work trying to find an extra $50.

We were making calls from Katie's parents and had found a truck to use, Joe and Jenny's, but needed $50 still, which Chad handed us while I was on the computer.

Sweet...so we have a truck and the money, so off we go with Mark Perron to pick it up (at like 10:30 at night).

We get there, and they husband, Reuben, was super-nice and we chatted with him and his wife Vanessa (also super nice). It turns out they were Christians and he is an English teacher in a public school there, and they were fixing up their house because they had just gotten married 6 weeks ago.

I gave him the money and thanked them over and over for holding it for us and we loaded it up.

Katie and Mark hopped into the truck and Reuben walked me over to my door, but before I got there he pulled the $50 out and handed it back to me.

He said that they had prayed that day, and felt like God wanted them to just give us the fridge. Of course, I argued and asked him to take the $50, and they were already being extremely generous, etc... But, he refused and asked us to please accept it and just be blessed. Pretty cool, huh?

Then, he gives me 5 extra dollars, and I'm like "OK, this is ridiculous. There is no way you shpould give me money on top of a free fridge." But then he told me that at his church two weeks ago, the pastor had passed around the offering plate, but in it was some of the church's benelovence fund. He wanted everyone to take some out and pray to ask the Lord who they should give it to. They took it and had been sitting on it, waiting. Then we show up, and they wanted us to have it. Is that crazy, or what?

It is funny because, Katie and I are blown away when this type of thing happens, but it doesn't really suprise us anymore because it just happens so regularly. God really does take care of us like the flowers of the field. He provides.

Anyway, that's it. A free fridge. Cool.

post from Sean: twins are cool and we need a fridge

2008-10-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I know what you are thinking:

"Having twins is already pretty cool, but there is no way they will look as cool as those guys."

And, you're right, but we can dream, can't we?

The reason I am posting is because we failed to get the word out on the very last thing that we need to get on track here in Virginia, a fridge.

We thought we had one lined up, but it fell through, so we are using a small dorm-sized one.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to make work since Katie is fueling two additional people, and almost everything turns her stomach, and with only room in the fridge for exactly: One half-gallon of organic milk, One half package of tortillas, One bottle of juice, One jar of salsa, One bottle of Steak Sauce, Ezekiel Bread, One quart almond milk (I am allergic to regular), a small block of cheddar cheese, Two Waffles, and... two short bottles of Canada Dry Ginger Ale(for Katie's Stomach.)

She is being a real trooper and eating basically the same three meals in rotation, dry life cereal, life cereal with milk, and raspberry fig newtons. All of these are washed down with 90% water 10% mango papaya juice.

Katie and I have been so blessed by everyone here in Virginia, we have been given everything we need to make it, and even more. We are humbled to be a part of such an awesome family, and grateful to God and everyone that has pitched in.

We believe that God wants us to be humble and just let people know what is going on, and what we need, because this is not the way we naturally are. (Katie actually is, but I really am not this way at all.)

So, we need a fridge.

Thanks.

Also, for more on the fascinating story of the real-life Twin-Dragons,
Michael and Martin McNamara, pictured above,
click here: www.twin-dragon.com
"You can't fight the government. NO ONE TOLD THE TWINS!"

What do you see?

2008-10-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

This was the question, "What do you see?" that our ultra-sound tech asked us today. A few seconds of confusion was followed by a scream and lots of laughing! There are 2 in there!!!!!

I just can't believe it! I have always wanted twins and was just telling my mom that yesterday! I didn't know that they ran in my family, I guess they do. Sean and I couldn't be happier!

So, I know the picture is sideways, but it works. The sack that looks empty only looks empty, that is where the 1st twin lives, we just couldn't get a good shot of both of them. That's why there are two shots side by side.

They both have good strong heart beats, and are measuring at 9 weeks! May 7th is the due date (Amanda's Birthday!)!

The Doctor said, prepare to get BIG! She said in the next 2 weeks i should pop out a lot. This will be very interesting. Im excited and scared. Sean and I used to pray that we would have twins, with our 1st pregnancy, but this time, our only prayer was for a healthy baby. I guess He answered both!

Prego

2008-09-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

One time Katie and I were hanging out with our friends and we were going to make dinner together, we all split up to get the different ingredients, mine was italian bread because we were making spaghetti. When Kim and Grace came back with a jar of Prego, I thought they were joking, so I laughed like "OK, where is the REAL jar of sauce that we will actually eat?" but they were serious. I couldn't believe it, responding very graciously, as I am known for, I led them back to the sauce aisle, and showed them the acceptable options: Bertolli or Newman's Own (except for the italian sausage and peppers variety). They asked about Ragu as an alternative, but thy could see by my face that they should probably just drop it.( Classico is passable in a pinch if you have a lot of extra spices and garlic at home to give it more flavor.) Once we had the sauce, Bertolli (5 cheese), we headed back to the house. Once they actually tasted the Bertolli, their jaws dropped in collective wonder, and they apologized for trying to force low-grade sauce onto the group. We then forgave them according to the principles found in Matthew 18. Man, I remember that night like it happened yesterday. Anyway...My point is that Katie is pregnant, and I think I want some spaghetti now.

A quick update

2008-09-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

Hello!
We are all settled into the Wratten's nest! We love it out there. We've gotten almost everything that we need, people have given us a couch, dresser, coffee table, and a car!!!! We are very thankful for God's provision. The only thing we still need is a refrigerator, we have a small dorm size one for now. I am back at Starbucks and Sean has been offered a job that we are pretty excited about. It is a commission based job, so he's looking for something to do on the side to bring some cash in right away. We don't have the Internet at the Wratten's so, I probably won't be able to update the blog a whole lot. Love you all!

Fear not little flock...

2008-08-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

For it is your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom!

GOODBYE TEXAS! We are headed back home on Monday! Quick move, I guess that's how we roll! Sean's parents are so kind to let us store all of our stuff in their garage. We are just bringing our car, clothes and Elly (our dog), who by the way is freaking out, he knows somethings up. We will be living in Chris and Suzie's nest, they have a studio apartment over their garage. I'm very excited!

While I am so excited, I have also be pretty anxious. My head knows and believes that god will provide, but its also constantly figuring what will happen if.... This past year has been very difficult, especially with finances. I'm not really sure how it will be when we get back. Enter anxiety. I was praying this morning that God would give me peace. I began reading good ol' Luke 12:22.
It kinda kicked my butt.

"Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to your span of life?"

"Do not seek what you are to eat or drink, nor be worried... YOUR FATHER KNOWS YOU NEED THEM."

"Provide yourself with moneybags that do not grow old... where no thief approaches and no moth destroys... With treasure in the heavens that does not fail."

Please pray for my heart. I need help driving these truths home! Also please pray for safe travel. We will be stopping in Atlanta to see and old friend in the city and then Kris and Amanda and the boys. We'll get to see Katie and Billie and Sara, too!

Keep your ears open for:

A give away couch (its ok if it is uggo, I'll throw a slip cover over it)
A REALLY cheep car
Kitchen stuff, pots, baking dishes (I don't need a lot, just enough to get by)

Can't wait to see you all!

The Visible Sound

2008-07-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sean's brother Paul's band played at the Granada, in lower greenville, last night. They rocked it out! Paul is now even cooler than
he already was.

Another Move and some prayer

2008-07-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

I will just make a long story short and say this: we are moving back to Virginia. Early September we are packing up yet another moving truck and trekking back across the country to Chesapeake.

It is a bitter sweet thing. It will be so hard to move away from Sean's family. We love them all dearly. We are excited to be back with family and friends in Virginia. Our plan is to hang there for a few months and then go up to northern Virginia on a church plant that Sean's cousin Eric will be leading. We are in faith for all that God will do and are very excited.

Also, we have some sad news that my Aunt Mary, who I love so much, just got news of cancer. Please keep her in your prayers. I know that God can do amazing things and she is one of the strongest people I know. My mom will be up in Michigan a lot to help her. It will be nice to be closer, VA to MI is only a good days drive, so i am hoping to be able to visit as well.

Thank you for your prayers!

Sean's Birthday!!

2008-07-04T01:28:00.000-07:00

happy 29!!!

   erin, paul and hosanna.
   ben, dru and sean
   violet, one of the cuttests kids ever. She was sad.

Sean is 29. We celebrated Sean's birthday on Monday. We hung out at Erin and Dru's at their house. We had a blast. Shish-ka-bobs, salad and Sean's favorite, Newcastle. I made sean this Abe Lincoln shirt for his birthday. Awesome. For those of you who don't know, we love Lincoln, enough to wear T-shirts and name our 1st born boy after! (when ever we have one).

There are some other pics of some T's that i have made. You can read how to make them on Erin Ball's blog, thebloginmylife.blogspot.com . I told my friend amber that i would post some. here they are!

2008-07-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

A Onsie for Beck

Sean's Lincoln

If only there were two of him!

2008-06-18T14:33:00.000-07:00

I came across these pictures on seans computer. They made me laugh!

2 years, a wedding and a funeral

2008-05-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

May 20th was sean and I's 2 year aniversary. These 2 years have been crazy. So much has happened that it feels like, 2 years... thats all!

Two years ago, on May 25th, we ended our honeymoon with the news that my brother, who i love so much, had passed away. Ryan was my older brother and though physically he could have never protected me, I always felt taken care of by him. I know that sounds strange because he needed so much care. I always new that he loved his baby sister so much. And I loved being his baby sister. Its nice not to have horror stories about him, like being pinned down and getting a loogie spat in my mouth, or waking up to a fart in my face, or being bitten in my arm with teeth marks to prove it, thanks Kris! Although I do recall one time making Ryan really mad, he chased me around in his wheelchair and actually pinned me into the corner! Ha! Ryan and I were at home alone together a lot. He watched me and i took care of him whenever mom ran to Prevo's (the local grocery store, no joke, my mom went there every day!). I think we ended up sitting around and entertaining each other. I was a skinny little thing that could never hold my self together, i was always called a wet noodle. Ryan would tell really corny jokes, just like my dad. But, they always made me laugh, I would do this sloppy, laughy dance thing that would him laugh. There was a lot of laughter between me and Ryan in our years on Cherry Road.

To say the least, it was heart wrenching to lose him. I miss him very much.

Since then, there have been so many ups and so many downs. Sean and I got shoved into reality asap. The "honeymoon phase" wasn't all bliss for us. Things aren't horrible now, but the move to Texas has been so difficult. Losing the baby was and still is so hard.

Looking back is good. I told Sean that for the hell that we have been through... I would rather go through hell any day with him, than have a perfect life without him. I can't begin to tell you how much I love him. I still can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with him!

Lover, you are my love. Thank you for being who you are. My heart is at home with you, I have never felt so safe. I love you so much.

Ry, I miss you. Sean can't explain Star Wars to me nearly as well as you could, so I've just given up listening to him. We did watch Braveheart the other night. It made me miss you even more.

Everyone else, Its good to talk a little about Ryan. Its hard living in a place where no one knew him. Thanks for listening.

you got a what? ... a tattoo, mom. You did...?

2008-05-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

Here it is. Sean and i went down to Deep Elum this afternoon, and i got a tattoo. I've been wanting one for some time now and had just enough birthday money. It is one of my favorite Picasso line drawings. As you can see we are still living out of boxes. Someday i will have the time to completely unpack!

Denver

2008-05-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

Hey, Went to Denver this past weekend, sean bought me a plane ticket for my birthday. He's so sweet! I had tons of fun, thanks danny and judy. It was so good to hang out with you guys! Got to see meg and dave and scott, too. Denver still feels like a strange home. It was good to be back.

Move #4

2008-04-22T16:41:00.000-07:00

So, we made our 4th move this year! Last April we moved from Norfolk to the Oceanfront, then in October, to Plano, then December to Celina(in with uncle Bob), and now to Frisco. Its just comical to me now. In 4 months, we have to do it again! we are only subletting the apartment until the end of August.

All that to say, its been a crazy week. On Thursday I decided to surprise Sean. While he was at work, I got our amazing friends to help me move all of our stuff out of storage into our NEW APARTMENT!!!!! yeah!!!!! So I told Sean that I would be cleaning the apartment and to just come there after work. He came home to and apartment filled with our stuff and some great friends

Dru and Erin, Paul, Marky, Ben-jo, Kylie, and Hosser! Dru was great! He ran the show and it went so smoothly and fast! Thanks guys, soooo much!

Sean was totally surprised, he said it was one of the best surprises ever! He has been working sooo hard for us. He is an amazing man, I'm glad i could successfully surprise and bless him!

I read this the other day... It was good for my heart.

2008-03-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

"My brethren, God is Good. He will not forsake you: He will bear you through. There is a promise prepared for your present emergencies; and if you will believe and plead at the mercy-seat through Jesus Christ, you shall see the hand of the lord stretched out to help you. He has been to me so faithful in countless instances that I must encourage you to trust Him." - Spurgeon

Anderson

2008-03-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

Amanda told me this story the other day.

Kris and Amanda have the boys pray everyday for 2min, for whatever they want to pray for. Amanda always asks them what they prayed for afterwards. Last week when she asked Anderson, he said, "I prayed that God could give aunt Katie a new baby."

I cried when she told me, I thought that was so sweet.
Anderson- I love you like crazy!

Back to the Bux

2008-03-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

Hello all. Thought i would update everyone on our life. I am still at Nordstrom but will be also working at Starbucks! Thats right, back to the bux. I never thought i would wear that glorious green apron again, but come this wed, It will be hanging around my neck! All sarcasm aside, i really am excited to go back, i always liked working there. Sean and i decided to do this so that i can easily get better insurance than what Nordstrom offers. Its 20hrs a week vs. 35 hrs, and less out of pocket for us.

I am nervous about working 2 jobs, it will be about 20hrs each. Please pray for me, physically, a full schedule can be really difficult. My biggest threats are migraines. I get what are called "weekend migraines," when you work a busy week and get a day off, my body decides to give me the plesant rest of a migraine. I haven't had them in a few weeks, but my work load has been fairly light. So, i am afraid of being so busy with both jobs, but am trying to trust God.

Sean is still working on the real estate. Things are looking good, we are just praying for some deals to close. He is waiting tables at night for some cash, so he is pretty worn out.

Thats all for now, love you all.

Be honest....

2008-02-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, honest opinions of my hair, let me have 'em.

Thank you allso much for you sweet words and encouragement! They make me cry! I am honored to be loved by all of you. Your prayers are felt. Sean and I have had a really good week. There have been a few days that felt full of life, Ive been missing that.

moving on...?

2008-02-21T14:21:00.000-08:00

well... I have been avoiding posting for some time now. I hope you enjoyed seans shenanigans. I feel strange posting something new. It feels like just moving on to the next thing. When the truth is, I am still so sad and having such a hard time. We are very poor, don't have a place to call our own, sean is now waiting tables at night, no insurance, and all i want is a baby. Reality is that Im just going to have to wait. The mall i work at is apropriately nick named, "strollerbriar." Every where i turn there are babies. It seams a lot of my friends are pregant, and I really am so happy for them, I wish i was pregnant with them. Our finances and my anxiety are not making this trial any easier.

I cringe when people tell me i need to trust God. While i know that it is true... I can't reconcile the fact that he gave me something that made me the happiest i have ever been and then took it all away. I really do believe that He is good and will be faithful, but I'm walking a tight rope everyday. Somedays i know that sean and i will be mommy and daddy and that our baby has a great home in heaven, and other days i am depressed and cant even begin to think about it.

I really don't like it when people post a list of their problems. I guess thats what Im doing now though. I know that there are a number of you that i haven't returned phone calls to, Im sorry i really do want to but, to be honest i am just not up for talking about this, and i know that it will come up. But please know that i really appreciate your calls. I wanted to update every one because we really need your prayers.

About Me

2008-01-31T12:21:00.000-08:00

There is something that has changed me out here in texas, I guess it is the wide open spaces, like the Dixie Chicks are always singing about. But, I guess I feel free to be my regular goofy, dorky self out here. I keep it pretty restrained most of the time but I do want to keep you posted on my new revelations about myself. The picture I choose for my profile will change according to my mood, and the "about me" will detail a new nugget that I have come to embrace about ME!!! I hope you enjoy it, I am really getting to know myself better than I ever thought, and I love me more and more for it!!!! Yay!

thanks

2008-01-18T21:51:00.000-08:00

First, thank you all for your love and prayers. It has been a rough couple of weeks. So far things are looking good, i probably won't have to have a d&c, which is great and a huge answer to prayer. However, my hormone levels aren't going down as fast as the doctors would like, so i have to go back in in two weeks for more blood. This just means that i still feel pregnant, so i have still been really tired, but hopefully that will be done with in two weeks. I start back at work on Monday, so Im hoping to find some energy somewhere, somehow. Sean and I are very blessed to have all of you in our life. Thank you for everything! Below are some pics from our christmas vacation, enjoy!

Christmas pics part 1

2008-01-18T21:40:00.000-08:00

Here are some of our Christmas pictures. Sean and I flew into Chicago and spent a night downtown. We had never been there. We loved the city. We rented a car from there and drove up North to see my family. Kris and Amanda were there as well as my mom and dad. My brother matt lives up there now along with all of my moms family. It was so great to see everyone. There's no place like home! We got to take the boys skiing one day, that was one of my favorite things, they were so cute! I'll post the rest later, too many pics!

Sad News

2008-01-07T17:15:00.000-08:00

I know most of you have probably heard, but Katie and I went to urgent care this weekend, and Katie is having a miscarriage. This is a pretty sad time, and rough on Katie and I, but we are glad to live our lives so closely to so many people, thank you for your excitement with us, and for grieving now with us, too. Please pray that everything goes smoothly, and that there are no further complications.

We love you guys and miss all of you,

Please pray for us, Sean and Katie

p.s. please feel free to call Katie (or me, but especially Katie), I never know if I should call someone during a sad time, but we wanted to tell everyone that we look forward to your calls, and it has been a huge help to us hearing from everyone.

thanks

...

2007-12-31T16:26:00.000-08:00

We moved again...

2007-12-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. The news for this week is that we moved again. We left our little apartment and moved to Casa De Hughes. Uncle Bob and Aunt Sharron were so kind and generous to let us live here for a little while. Its kinda nice to put everything but our clothes in storage.
For everyone that keeps asking... we will be in Virginia the weekend before new years and staying till the 2nd of Jan. We can't wait to see everyone. We miss you all.
We are counting down the days! Amanda and the boys sent us this great little count down tree, you pop a bubble every day till christmas!

A letter from Jose'

2007-12-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

The other day sean and i recieved this letter in the mail and it made our day! Jose' is so sweet and we really miss seeing him!

flash back to sky diving

2007-11-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

For seans birthday this past june, Mike decided to suprize sean with a skydiving adventure. I was sooooo scared the whole day. I got to go up in the plane with them and watch them jump out! SCARY!!! The plane landed in time for me to watch them land, too. Sean loved it and says he wants to do it again. I'm not sure I can handle the stress though!

Glass Blowing

2007-11-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics of me from september. I was making the vases for Katie Bataglia's wedding. Sean hadn't seen me blow glass before so he came up and took some pics of me. I really miss it. I haven't had the time to find a hot shop here yet. I thought i'd share the pics with you.

elly

2007-10-31T20:28:00.000-07:00

here is our doggy Elwood, El, Elly, Belly. Sory I haven't posted in a while. Nordstrom has eaten me alive. and... Our internet was down for a week or two. Nothing too interesting is going on, same ol' same ol'. We miss all of you. good news, we will be home to Michigan for christmas and then home to Virginia for a few days after. we are so excited.

the Fridge

2007-10-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy looking at people's refridgerators. Since none of you (well most of you) won't ever get to come over and stare at my fridge while we chit-chat. I thought it take a picture of it. If you don't see your picture on here... then I think you need to reconcider your christmas card list!

pics of the house. (scroll down, I posted it backwards)

2007-10-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Texas

2007-10-05T14:25:00.000-07:00

So, we, me, sean, ben and paul, ventured out to the city last night. We took the light rail in and headed to a concert. We saw Low. They are one of sean's favorite bands. As we sat in the DART, as they call it, we made frequent stops. On one of these stops, we the tran picked up a small wrinkly old man. He walked awkwardly sideways down the isle to find a seat. It was about 3 seconds after he passed that we all looked at each other, trying not to laugh or gag. I think it is safe to say that this man has not showered in a year or two. Imagine the absolute worst body odor smell and magnify it by about 50. This is not an exaggeration! Our noses might as well have been shoved in his sweat glads. Typically in a case like this the smell will pass with the person. Not true here, it hung heavy. Paul had some deoterant in his bag, so i put some on my arm so that i could breath into it! Those of you who know me well know that i have an extreamly sensitive nose. It was horrible. We finally figured out that we could exit and get on another car. So... welcome to Texas...? Ever been in a situation like this?

Also, I put some pics of the house and the concert up. The house is small, we don't usually like to put books on display, but there is no other space for them, it works. I'm not crazy about our place but we will be out in March. I haven't put much effort in making it look great. My picture of the city skyline didn't quite turn out, but i thouht it looks kinda cool.

Update time

2007-09-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of me and Elwood! There you go boys! Eli misses you! That's our tini-tiny kitchen behind us! If anyone has suggestions for organizing a skinny, deep pantry...send them my way.

The house is all unpacked and set up. I begin work on Tuesday at Nordstrom. I will be a sales asscosiate in the T.B.D. department. I am very excited. Sean is ramping up the bis, looks good so far. Ben Crumrine got here last week. We are so happy that he decided to move with us.

We hung out with the whole Marshal/Hughes/Thomas/Swingle clan today. It was Nadine's Birthday. I baked a cake! I'm not the best cook, but I will say, I can make a good cake. Although, Amanda and I are suspicious that Mom is with holding secret ingredients! Never the less, the cake was pretty good! We miss and love you all!

My 4 favorite faces! (not including my love, sean)

2007-09-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

I love my boys and miss them like crazy! Today my house feels a little more like home. Each of their precious faces are in frames gracing my wall. It was the first thing on the list to hang! I love you boys!

Hot Air Balloon Festival!

2007-09-25T14:05:00.000-07:00

Plano, Texas, our new home, has an anual Hot Air Balloon Festival. We went down to check it out last weekend. It was pretty cool. They didn't let off until the morning, so we just saw them light up at night. Ok, It wasn't nearly as cool and every one made it sound, but we had fun anyway! Sean got to eat a deep fried twinkie and a deep fried snickers, so he was a happy man!

Saying Goodbye

2007-09-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

All I can say is, saying goodbye is rough on the heart. This is one of the hardest things that I have done, I know that Sean would say the same. I didn't get too many pictures, I was a little distracted by trying not to break down every 5 minutes. I wish i would have gotten more. We love you all very much.

Spidy and Taody

2007-09-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Eeeeeek!
Here is a spider that lives near our apartment in Virginia. Sean kept blowing on its web, the spider would grab on and start shaking it's web up and down pretty fast. She was cool to watch.
The toad also lives near the old apartment. We saw him almost everynight. He lived under the sidewalk that lead to our apartment. He was really cute.

Wichester!

2007-09-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

We had a blast in Winchester! We love hanging out with Mark and Ginger, Matty and Kimmie, and Benny Boo!
The house was beautiful and we had a great time. The boys dressed like rednecks for our tubbing adventure down the Shanandoha River. Sean shaved a handle-bar mustache, yuck! I didn't even like looking at him!