Thursday, September 23, 2010

september, twenty-third HOPE

I have once again been learning about hope. It has always been a difficult thing for me to wrap my brain around. Its not a tangible thing that I can take hold of, and that sometimes makes it difficult to feel like I have it.

Lately, though, the Lord has been stirring something in me. A want and desire to see things fixed. I am learning that it isn't up to me. I don't need to put my hope is something. Christ is my hope. I have it. I have Christ. Christ came to fix this broken world and I believe in that. I know that Heaven will be our home, an unbroken and safe place. I am continuously comforted by this. I don't know how it will all work out, and sometimes its vague in my mind. 1 Peter says, "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your soul."

I went to my parents house this afternoon to visit. I had been sick earlier this week, so hadn't seen my dad for a few days. He didn't say much, he told me that he missed me this week. The change in him in even that short time is very difficult to bear. He is mostly in his wheelchair, or sitting on the couch. He is so week that even hold a book up to read is difficult. His voice is week and very quiet and he can hardly stand on his own. I love to see is bright blue eyes look up at me and smile a little. I know that he is not my dad, my dad has been gone for sometime now. But I see him in those eyes and I know that look. The look of a father that loves his children, finds joy in seeing them. I am so afraid that he is sad. It breaks my heart to see my dad who was so strong and healthy just over a year ago, be degraded to this state. I honestly still can't wrap my brain around it. The only thing that I can do is to cling to the hope I have.

"According to His great Mercy, He has caused us to be born again into a living hope, through the resurrection of Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you. "

I over heard him telling someone that the Lord is telling him to be strong in his faith. I am encouraged that he looks forward to heaven, that he has hope. He will obtain the outcome of his faith. Hope isn't wishful thinking. Its a thing. A real thing.

5 comments:

Erin said...

Breaks my heart to see you going through this. Thanks for opening up your soul, though, and sharing your thoughts, dear one. :) I'm glad to hear and know and share the burden (even just an ounce) and pray. Thinking of you!

Lizzy said...

Katie, i am carrying you (and your dear mom) on my heart and praying for the Lord's comforting presence to minister to you. also praying that He would sustain your dad with a deep sense of peace & HOPE during this fiery trial. love you.

Jenny said...

Oh Katie, Matt and I are praying for you. I love both of your parents and your dad has been so dear in my memories of my own walk with Christ while growing up. I so look forward to him being taken to heaven and healed, but so ache for the loss you're already going through.

The Smith Family said...

Kate,

I want to write something but I barely know what to say. Your post has brought me to tears. Thank you for your example of holding fast to Christ in this trial. You and your family are a testimony of God's sustaining grace. The thought of even losing my dad is so unbearable, yet you all press on looking to Jesus, knowing this world is not our home. I love you so much Katie and will continue to pray for you all.
I cannot wait til we can all physically be with our great Hope and be together once again :)

LYLAS,
Mag

Emsamum said...

I have so been in your shoes. The rain the last few days have brought memories flooding through. Praying for you Katie for God's peace and strength to hold you in all the ways we wish we could but in our humanity or unable. Love you
Coach Em