November 2nd

About a year ago, I couldn't sleep. Anxious about how this nasty cancer would take my dad, I got on the internet at 4 in the morning researching brain cancer. I read many many accounts of a difficult end, but there was one account of a man who entered into a coma and passed while "sleeping". So I began to pray. I prayed all year that this would be the way that the Lord would choose to take my Dad.

Somewhere between Thursday and Sunday, my Dad slipped into a coma. Sean and I got to my parents Sunday around 5:00. My dad was laboring to breathe but I didn't think much of it. We ate dinner and went back into the room to see him. He looked significantly worse and his heart rate was very high. We new it was the end. It was a long few hours wrestling with anxieties. I didn't know if I wanted to be in the room or if I could take seeing him and hearing the 'death rattle' in his chest. The Lord was faithful to bring me peace. Sean reminded me that this was exactly what we had prayed for. He was sleeping and in no pain, and it didn't look like a seizure would be his end. The Lord was showing MERCY! The family and a few close friends sat by his side for a few hours, praying and singing worship songs.

Around midnight, he took his last breath. 16 months of a difficult battle with cancer is over. It was just exactly the best way for it to happen. The Holy Spirit was felt and present. His wife, children, brother and his closest and dearest friends by his side, singing him into heaven.

There will be a visitation at Graham Funeral Home, Thursday night from 6-8. Funeral at Sovereign Grace Church, Friday at 1.

Thank you all for your prayers and help with the food and with watching our boys. we are overwhelmed with your outpouring.

Some glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away;
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away, I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away

When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown,
I'll fly away

Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away

Update October, 30th

Here is just a quick update on my dad:

He has been in bed the last few days. He didn't open his eyes at all yesterday and hasn't eaten in a couple days now. Tuesday morning he opened his eyes while I was there for a bit. He looked confused and his eyes are cloudy. He couldn't communicate and could barely suck the juice up the straw. He is having a difficult time with mucus in his throat and begins to cough a lot when he drinks something, if he is able to swollow. He doesn't have the strength to cough much up, the nurse gave us some medicine to help it. It is a patch to put behind his ears so that he doesn't have to swollow it. He did mumble and move his lips in the motion of ,"I love you, Katie," before I left.

It is definitely on my brain that these may be the last words that I hear my dad "say". I think that I am at peace with that. They are the perfect words to hear. I am so grateful that other than when he is coughing, he doesn't seam to have much pain. He is sleeping almost constantly now, which is much better that being awake and uncomfortable.

He hasn't been able to take his meds, that that is concern for a seizure. Please pray that the Lord would be merciful in taking him. That his passing would be peaceful and while he is sleeping. This would be much better than a violent seizure. Also pray for peace with the family. Anxiety is running high in a lot of us.

Thank you for your prayers.

October Fourteenth

A few people have asked for an update, here is a short one.

Sean and I were able to go to my parents house to sit with my dad today. I was over on Tuesday, and it was difficult. When I left and told him, goodbye, he mumbled some gibberish, but had been able to talk earlier that morning. This has been the way he was yesterday and today. It seams to have taken a big step downward. He can answer a simple yes or no question, but not a whole lot more. He has been sleeping most of the day and will wake up to look at you, or say something. His appetite is diminishing and he has a cough that is bothersome to him. He doesn't have the strength to cough anything up and when I asked him if it hurt, he answered yes.

My mom has a nurse coming every morning to help my with my dad, that has been a huge help to her. The nurse said that with the symptoms my dad has, it looks like it will be 2 weeks to a month. The house has been filled with friends and family stopping by to clean dishes or read a scripture. We are grateful for the love and care around us.
The Lord is faithful to give us our daily bread, meeting us each day with exactly what we need to make it through. Resting in that and taking it all in stride is where we are.

Last week, when he was able to talk a little more, I read to him a section from The Weight of Glory, by C.S. Lewis. It talked about heaven and how it will blow the nature around us away. He says that this is only the "first sketch" and that we will be apart of a nature more beautiful that we can imagine. I talked to my dad about it a little. He has always been one to appreciate natures glory and splendor. When i read and asked if he is excited to go and see these wonders in heaven, He told me that he is . When i asked him if he is afraid, he answered, "No. I really want to see it." We talked a little about Alaska and how much He loved being there . He told me that he would really like to take me there and maybe we could go together, and how much he enjoyed the landscape and beauty there. We talked about how heaven's landscape will be even more vibrant and full and real that what he saw there. My Dad is on the precipice of experiencing this. He is so close that there is almost a felt holiness around him. I am grateful to God for the peace that he has given.

Please continue in prayer, they are much appreciated.

My Beautiful Mae

This little girl has stolen my heart! Iva Mae is 4 months. She has a sweet spirit, always ready to smile. I love to hear her sweet giggle and to see her watch her crazy big brothers dance around in front of her and see her little face light up. She loves the sound of her Daddy's voice and loves to look at her hippo, "Janie." (thanks auntie Ginger) I feel like I just can't get enough! I'm addicted to her! She has been my sweet escape lately. Her little nose, sweet lips and bright blue eyes will make any sad heart happy. I love you baby girl!

september, twenty-third HOPE

I have once again been learning about hope. It has always been a difficult thing for me to wrap my brain around. Its not a tangible thing that I can take hold of, and that sometimes makes it difficult to feel like I have it.

Lately, though, the Lord has been stirring something in me. A want and desire to see things fixed. I am learning that it isn't up to me. I don't need to put my hope is something. Christ is my hope. I have it. I have Christ. Christ came to fix this broken world and I believe in that. I know that Heaven will be our home, an unbroken and safe place. I am continuously comforted by this. I don't know how it will all work out, and sometimes its vague in my mind. 1 Peter says, "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your soul."

I went to my parents house this afternoon to visit. I had been sick earlier this week, so hadn't seen my dad for a few days. He didn't say much, he told me that he missed me this week. The change in him in even that short time is very difficult to bear. He is mostly in his wheelchair, or sitting on the couch. He is so week that even hold a book up to read is difficult. His voice is week and very quiet and he can hardly stand on his own. I love to see is bright blue eyes look up at me and smile a little. I know that he is not my dad, my dad has been gone for sometime now. But I see him in those eyes and I know that look. The look of a father that loves his children, finds joy in seeing them. I am so afraid that he is sad. It breaks my heart to see my dad who was so strong and healthy just over a year ago, be degraded to this state. I honestly still can't wrap my brain around it. The only thing that I can do is to cling to the hope I have.

"According to His great Mercy, He has caused us to be born again into a living hope, through the resurrection of Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you. "

I over heard him telling someone that the Lord is telling him to be strong in his faith. I am encouraged that he looks forward to heaven, that he has hope. He will obtain the outcome of his faith. Hope isn't wishful thinking. Its a thing. A real thing.